Had the worst feeling ever!

Before I get to explaining the title, there is a lot that happened today!

I started off by missing breakfast because apparently Thursday's are the only day it ends at 8 instead of 8:30! I will remember this in the future since a granola bar did not suffice. This morning's session was GREAT! The weather was beautiful so we went to the park. The kids were great and listened and didn't cause any major problems. The time flew by and we felt great after the session. Then everyone donned 60's outfits and we set up and hosted the first carnival. It was a lot of fun and went great. I ran the Ping-Pong ball toss table and assisted with some face painting at the end. Then we had a 2 hour break and it was sunny so a bunch of us headed to the beach! It was SO wonderful to finally lay out on the beach and soak in the sun. Most of the people were skim boarding but I just chilled with my boss Ellen and a couple other girls. The end of my break was filled with a great conversation with my friend Taylor. We were on Hall Council together this past year at SPU and become really good friends. We always have such great deep conversations and today was no exception. It was really good and fun to catch up and share with each other about some cool stuff.

Evening session...SO unlike the peaceful morning, which must have been the calm before the worst storm ever. Thursday night's is a long session because we have dinner with the kids so their parent can have a night of dinner for themselves. Having the kids for 3 1/2 hours wears down everyone. We had more injuries, more tears, more "she wasn't very nice/she hit me" tattles, more flying sand, more puppy-guarding in Capture the Flag, and more "cheating" in dodge ball than I could ever have imagined! 4-5s, Kids Klub, and K2 all meet together for worship and I could see on all the other teacher's faces that tonight was not going well for anyone. Whenever we move from one location to the next, I count the kids. MANY TIMES! Tonight was no exception. We left worship and I started counting: 19. hmm....we're supposed to have 20. Maybe I missed one. Count again: 19. Okay, let's stop and re-form a single-file line. Count again: 19. Uhhh....okay who is missing? They must have gone with the other teacher back the classroom. Let's all go back and see. Reach classroom and the other teacher is there but no kid. Count all again. 19!!! I am now panicking. I tell my supervisor that we are missing someone and trying to think how that could have happened from downstairs in the worship room to our classroom. A couple seconds go by and then he remembers and states that the little boy was feeling sick so he took him to our boss!!! My heart almost stopped. Tears welled up in my eyes and I was shaking so bad. I was SO relieved! Yet I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of losing a kid. I was on the verge of tears with all the mixed emotions and the kids were asking what was wrong with me. My supervisor said "she's okay guys. Spike just loves you guys a lot and got really scared that someone was missing." I never want to experience that again!

After about 10 more minutes of chaos session was finally out. All 3 of us were exhausted, stressed, and frustrated. We talked and prayed and then left. I quickly texted my friends saying I hope their night had been better than mine, that I had almost cried in class, and we should meet to debrief later. I had an evening babysitting shift which I was not looking forward to because it was the problem girl from my class and after a night like that I wanted to just talk, cry, laugh, and pray with my friends. Babysitting was actually great though. She was really good being by herself and it was wonderful to hold a baby. After all the kids were asleep I was able to just read and sit in silence for a half hour! When the parents returned I went to meet my friends who had been chilling at the Coach House for awhile and who greeted me with hugs, ice cream, listening, and laughter. After I shared my story, I found out that the nursery, 4-5s, and 1st-3rd graders (Kids Klub) had just as rough a time as us. All of the babies were screaming in nursery so the girls were walking them all around the rec center. One kids threw up A LOT and multiple times in 4-5s (too much food before running games). I think someone peed their pants a few times. Kids Klub had similar issues as us and then a mom came up after session had been out twenty minutes and really had lost her kid, which they found after searching all over! Midkids had a great night thankfully with no injuries or problems at all!

Tonight as a I sang worship with all the kids I looked out at one teacher's face. He looked so defeated and I knew though that there is something he loves about his job to keep coming back summer after summer. Tonight was not one of those nights to make you want to come back. But I know the good times will come and the bad times have to as well, for growth and to make us appreciate the good.

I don't think I will have any trouble falling asleep tonight!

Prayer Request--that I would have enthusiasm and love for the children tomorrow, not remembering tonight.
--that I would never lose a child

Praise--our boss's dad does NOT have MS! Not sure what it is, but at least it's narrowed down.
--for my amazing friends from school, home, and here who helped me through this day and everyday!