I Still Believe

It is has been far too long since I posted. Last time I just turned 21 and since then I passed the West-E, finished fall quarter, had a great and relaxing Christmas break and am now coming up to the midterms of winter quarter. Oh, winter quarter. Looooong sigh! It has been very gray and dreary literally, mentally, and emotionally. I had hoped after such an amazing summer that I would not repeat the misery of last winter and in many ways it is better and different but some aspects are still not so fun. I have really struggled with some big questions such as "what am I doing with my life????" I have had serious second thoughts of my major and career choice. But, being only 1 class away from my major completed and student teaching left for certification I realized it was impractical to make any drastic changes right now. I re-applied to work at CBCC this coming summer and after a weekend reunion with the summer staff I got very excited about it again. I currently volunteer every other Sunday helping with 3yr-old Sunday School at my church and I love it. Some frequent babysitting also helps me get my adorable little-kids fix. :)

Today was very blah until the last hour and then God shifted my teeter-totter again. In my Young Adult Lit class we have been reading books about WWII and the Holocaust and then today we watched Life is Beautiful. VERY good movie but also very sad. I was speechless after watching and couldn't participate in the discussion. Certainly not what I needed on an already blah and gray day, but I think there was a good reason. So, within the last hour, my day got considerably better because of my great Bible study. It's such a blessing to be able to open up and fellowship and pray with other Christian girls. Then I practiced guitar and have been listening to some Barlow Girl. I love music and believe it is very therapeutic. Certain songs have really impacted me and helped me through different times both good and bad. Tonight at Bible study I started thinking of one particular song that I wanted to listen to as soon as I got back. It's called "I Believe in Love" by Barlow Girl and based off an inscription found carved into a cellar wall by Jews hiding during the Holocaust.
The lyrics of the chorus are:
"I believe in the sun, even when it's not shining. I believe in love, even when I can't feel it. And I believe in God, even when He is silent." It's a really beautiful song if you want to listen to it on YouTube. I think this was such a God thing how this song tied into my class experience today and then with how I've been feeling about the weather and my life and such.

I don't know what tomorrow holds, I don't know what God's plan is for me, and sometime it's rougher than others, but, I still believe.

Crunchy Leaves

I love the sound of stepping on them! It's just magical and how can you not smile and be happy when the sky is blue, the trees are flame-colored and every step sounds like you just ate a potato chip? :D I'm not sure how much longer the nice fall weather is going to last, but I'm very thankful for all that we have had and every colorful leaf that has brightened those days with its color and crunch.

I had a wonderful pre-birthday weekend. My parents came over and we had a great time catching up. It was nice to have a break from school and be with my family and some good family friends that I have known practically my whole life. Good food, good conversation, and some wonderful presents including a new camera that has a touch screen! (which I discovered on accident lol)

After my parents left, I walked around Green Lake with my bff in the beautiful sunshine.

How can you top that weekend? Well you can't, which is why I have to go back to homework tonight, classes, and studying for my West-E this Saturday. :P BUT I do have a birthday this week and no school the following day so there will be room for some fun times.

Four months later...

It is a wonderful fall day, cold and overcast but I love it. I am wearing wool socks, a sweater, and sipping warm tea while I work on a creative essay for my writing class. Today is 10-10-10 and four months ago today I was just recently finished with Sophomore year and driving down to Cannon Beach for what I hoped would be an amazing summer. On the flipside, I can answer that yes it was an amazing summer. I often look back through my pictures from all our hangouts, beach days, and fun adventures and smile at the memories and laughter we shared. I got to know and work with some really amazing people. It was so refreshing to be in an environment with other college-age kids who were on fire for God and passionate about living for Him and serving others. God used many of them to change my life. God grew me so much over the past four months, filling me with His love and a peace for my unknown future that I have longed for. I am so grateful for that opportunity and would love to return next summer if that works out.

But here I sit, in my new apartment in Seattle, two weeks into Junior year. It's been good so far. My classes are not too demanding which is nice because it allows me time to hang out with friends and have more relaxing time to myself whether I work out, sleep, or have God time. I really appreciate living off-campus. The quieter and more private atmosphere is just what I needed. I feel less stressed, less distracted and like I have more time. I am still working at mailing services which I love. New this year is my involvement in an group for upperclassmen women called Falconettes and no we're not the cheerleaders. :) We are a group focused on leadership, fellowship, and service. We just got back a few hours ago from our retreat at Camp Casey where we bonded, got soaking wet on an adventure walk, and brainstormed about ideas for service and fun that we can do this year. I'm really excited for what we will do. This group is an answer to prayer for a way to feel useful and be serving after a summer filled with that.

The quarter/year has only begun and I am excited to see what God has in store for me.

A New Season Begins

Today is the first day of Autumn, and my last day at home. It has been so beautiful here in North Idaho lately. The leaves have begun changing to yellow and we've had a few really nice sunny days with blue skies. It's getting colder and it definitely feels like fall. Mom put out the fall decorations today. The transition is over and a new season has come; not just for the calendar but for me as well. I had two weeks of transition time at home and tomorrow morning I will be driving back to Seattle (by myself, in my brand new car!).

I didn't mean to go this long without blogging. The last few days at Cannon Beach were wonderful. I miss being there so much. It seems like just yesterday yet it also seems like ages ago. Time is such a strange thing. My parents came down for the Labor Day weekend conference. It was good to visit with them and have them meet my friends and see what I had been enjoying all summer. The last weekend was bittersweet and so much happened. One of my good friend's dad passed away unexpectedly and it was so hard because there is nothing you can say to help. It was good though to be there with her, hold her, and cry with her. We helped her pack up her room and said goodbyes, promising to keep in touch and keep her and her family in our prayers. We were all kinda numb not believing what had just happened but we had to get back to work and prepare for a new group of kids that night. That night, Bruce, Trenton, Jill and I hung out watching Psych in the Beach Front lounge---should have definitely hung out in there earlier in the summer! Saturday was my day off but I worked the carnival to help out and go to dance on stage. A trip to Seaside with my parents, watching football, session, SNL practice and girl time completed the day. Sunday I worked session, played flag football, enjoyed the concert in the park, had evening session, SNL and then laid on the beach and looked at stars. Monday we had one final session with the kids and then spend the afternoon completely cleaning all the classrooms. There were A LOT of staples in that wall! It was really weird to see our Route 66 room all bare and white. Before I locked it up, I sat there and remembered a lot of good times in the classroom: games, lessons, and crafts with the kids; prep-time with Amber, Mitch, and Bruce; prayers, laughter, and talking; the dessert night that the guys threw for us; and now the room was empty. It felt like saying goodbye to a room in a house when you move. We had a final meeting to watch a staff slideshow and Eric gave a final send-off devotion. Staff bbq and packing followed and then a whole lot of goodbyes. Tuesday was the long drive home but we stopped in Spokane so I could buy my new car! A 2009 Silver Honda CR-V Ex-L :) I love it!

I've spent the last couple weeks here at home getting things ready for school, visiting friends, hanging out with my parents, sleeping in, and shopping. One of the weird things about being home is that my brother is not here! He's all grown up and off to college now. So, I went to Bozeman with Annie last weekend to visit my brother at school. It was really fun to see his campus, catch up with him, visit family friends, and drive around Yellowstone. I absolutely LOVE Montana scenery and landscape, especially between Bozeman and Bridger Mtn. Something about rolling hills of farmland, with a few big trees, a barn and house, surrounded by mountains underneath the big Montana sky is just so gorgeous to me! The scenery on the drive was so beautiful with yellow aspen trees, crazy big rocks, rivers, creeks, mountains, valleys--love it!

I'm really grateful for the two weeks at home to transition. I was really not ready to leave Cannon Beach or ready to go to school. But, as I've skyped, texted, and FB chatted with people from SPU over the past two weeks I have become more and more excited to move back to school. I certainly loved Cannon Beach and did not want to leave, but I knew it was time to move on to something else. For every thing there is a season. However, as I head into school I am not the same as I was last year. God has worked in my life and changed me in a lot of ways. He has re-filled me with a passion for Him and a love for children. I have new friends to keep in touch with, visit, and talk to; friends that I can count on for support, prayers, good advice, love, and laughter.

Tomorrow I will be heading out by myself, and heading west to lots of new adventures: Junior year, living in apartment, cooking for myself, learning how to drive in Seattle, Falconettes, Ivy Honorary, volunteering with 3yr-olds at Bethany, and striving to live each day in love and service for Christ.

Sadly, the amazing summer is over; but, tomorrow, a new chapter begins.

An Unusual Week

This week has been quite different because it is a short week so all of our schedules are different. Also this week, we had two kids with down syndrome and autism in K2 so it required extra help and changing some things around to accommodate them. They were both really sweet though and it was fun to work one-on-one with them. I have been hanging out with friends whenever we aren't working. It seems weird and yet also time for the summer to be ending.

Monday we played beach volleyball, I had my last Bible study and then watched stuff with friends. Tuesday we had the morning off and it was really nice to be lazy and take my time getting ready. it rained really hard here all day. It was kind of cool because it hasn't rained like that all summer but you got completely soaked wherever you went. Jill, Bruce, Trenton and I went out to lunch and hung out. I had 5.5 hours of rec shift but it went really fast with running a foosball tournament, friends working with me and playing pool. Today is my day off but I chose to volunteer with 4-5s this morning and I am going to again tonight. I walked around town and the beach this afternoon and then hung out at the carnival. I was kind of lazy again today and probably should have packed or been more productive. oh well :)

Winding Down

Whoops, I let another week go by without posting. It was another good week! I finally got over my stupid cough, which lasted annoyingly long.

One week from today, I will be on my way home with my parents. So crazy to think about! Almost 3 months ago, Jill and I drove up scared and nervous and now we love it here!

Last week was a lot of fun. Had some good sunny days at the beach, a good group of kids and some fun adventures with friends. On Wednesday, I woke up at 2:45 am, on purpose! A bunch of us met up and drove to Saddle Mountain to hike up by the light of flashlights and the full moon. I think its a two mile hike. It wasn't too bad of a climb and lots of fun chatting with people. The views along the way were breathtaking and the scenery from the top was amazing even in the dark. We hung out for about 20 minutes at the top until the sun came up. It was so awesome to see the first speck of light peak over the mountains. We could see Mt. Rainier, Mt. Hood, and Mt. St. Helens from up there. We all just sat in awe of the landscape and the colors that the sun painted across it. After lots of pictures, time praying and watching the sun rise, we headed back down. I hiked alone for most of the way down and it was really good to pray and think while I walked or ran. I think this hike was a really good closure on the summer for me. This might sound cheesy but I came up with a metaphor for this hike. The climb up was fun because it was something new but also kinda hard--not being able to always see that great, hot, spiderwebs in the face, steep; never knowing how much farther. That represents my first two years of college I think. They were really fun but as time went on--winter quarter of sophomore year especially--it got really tough. When I got to the top I was out of breath, hungry, and couldn't see very much. By spring quarter of school I was sick of classes, frustrated with myself over a lot of things, and needing something new. The time when the sun came up and was rising over the landscape lighting it up and adding colors is my time here this summer. I sat there and prayed and praised God for his creation. I was able to see so much clearer with the light and the trail we had come up. This summer has re-connected me with God and let me see where I have come from the past two years. The hike down I was alone though I knew friends were in front of me and behind me a ways. Heading back to school I might feel alone having to say goodbye to my friends here, but I know I can keep in touch with those I say goodbye to and there are friends waiting for me. After the steep section where the footing is hard, I ran down most of the mountain. I am hoping that in the next few weeks I feel ready to go back to school and stand firm in all that I've grown this summer. I may be standing alone sometimes but I want to be okay with that. At that same time though, I don't want this summer to just be a mountain-top experience, it needs to be only a vantage point on my climb higher and higher.

After the hike I napped, layed out on the grassy lawn with friends and then went to here Luis Palau speak. For Moonshadows we went to the arcade in Seaside. It was a lot of fun to play games with friends and have a lot of laughs. Thursday was my last carnival and I got to the Obstacle Course which was a lot of fun. Friday night we hung out in Fireside with Zach since it was his last night. I had volunteered with 2's and 3's during the week and met these adorable twin girls who always ran up to give me hugs whenever they saw me. They were with their family in Fireside that night and I played with them for a bit. It made me feel so happy to make the smile and laugh so much. They were so precious and I love little kid hugs!

Saturday I went to kid breakfast, napped, cleaned, went to the beach for a bit, woo-hoo meeting and then volunteered with 4's and 5's. I always thought if I came back next summer I would want to work with older kids. But after volunteering with toddlers and 4--5s this week I think I would want to do younger kids. They are just so precious and innocent! I love being able to make them smile and be goofy with them. I think I am going to help out with 4-5s again tomorrow.

I have to go do a rec shift now, but I will finish writing tonight maybe.

Wind in my Hair

The summer is flying by like the wind in my hair today as we drove with all the windows down! I was talking to my dad the other day about it being okay to wait and get my new cell phone from him since it's only two more weeks....2 more weeks!?!?! oh man! It really is coming down to the end. Mike left today. It's so sad not to have him here.

I ended up getting more sick Thursday night near the end of session. I had chills then got really hot. Thankfully I did not have babysitting and my wonderful boss let me not have to do rec center. I came back to the room, checked my temperature--98.4--and then took some meds and chilled in bed. Friday I felt better as far as having more energy but congested and same with Saturday. Last night I took nyquil before going to bed and I think it still had an effect on me this morning because I felt SOOO tired and exhausted during session. It was a wierd kind of sleepy that I've never felt. I am feeling much better now except for a very sore throat from so much singing and loud talking over kids. Salt water is nasty but it makes the throat feel better.

Thursday night's session felt so long. We had a long story, we went to the park, we played a ton of gym games, lesson, worship, yet it still felt so long! It didn't help that I wasn't feeling so great. Friday morning was good and then Friday night they needed extra help with the babies so I pushed two little boys in a stroller all night trying to keep one entertained while the other was fast asleep. Saturday was very relaxing. I chose not to go to breakfast so I could get some good sleep. It was a very chill day of laundry and cleaning and some phone calls. I covered for Tasha so I got to do the show, eat with the guests, and work as a floater with the 2's & 3's. It was really fun doing the show again and I got to eat dinner with one of the girls in my class and her family. The toddlers were SO cute! It made me really miss the little ones at my church back home. There were these twin girls who just wanted to hold my hand and sit in my lap all night and this one little girl who was quite the talker and reminded me of myself at that age. I saw them tonight on my way to worship with my class and they remembered me and gave me hugs. :) Kids are so amazing!

We only have 11 kids this week which is rough because they get bored with games so quickly. They aren't super into the worship time and we one boy who is really stubborn. Worship time feels really crazy because Kids Klub and 4's & 5's have so many and it's just a little chaotic.

I love Sundays and Mondays because I get the entire afternoon off and it's so wonderful. Today, Jill, Bruce, Trenton and I went shopping in Warrenton and just hung out at different stores. Except for a Passion Tea Lemonade from Starbucks, I didn't buy anything. I love being able to enjoy the little things, such as all of us sitting on couches in Costco to see which is comfiest, trying on funky clothes in Ross, and driving with the music up, windows down and fun conversations. It was such a fun day!

Last night after session, Jill and I went to the park and sat on the swings for awhile just talking. It was so wonderful! It has been really great getting to know her so well and becoming such good friends this summer. We both had a harder time in session tonight and when we came back to the room she closed the door and screamed. Well I had no idea why she was screaming and she scared me so I screamed too! Then I realized she was just letting out her frustration and we both started laughing really hard and trying not to pee our pants! :) Then we went to touch the beach. We hugged and prayed and looked up at the stars twinkling down at us.

I think I will go to bed now. It is very early for me, but I am trying to kill this stupid bug that is making me feel gross. Think I will pass on the nyquil this time though. :S

Music makes me happy

As it comes down nearer and nearer to the end, I am spending every minute I can with my friends rather than blogging. We just finished another great carnival and I wanted to update this really quick before taking a nap.

This past weekend, four of my girlfriends from home came to visit. We hung out at the beach, ate good food and walked around town. Unfortunately the weather wasn't very nice but it was good to see them. Monday afternoon the sun decided to come out! We've been spending our afternoon at the beach every day playing some intense volleyball games and soaking in the Vitamin D. Yesterday we had a program outing to Hug Point and it was really fun to have everyone together hanging out on the beach and roasting hot dogs on a campfire. We sang songs the whole way back to CB. Last night was the Staff Talent Show. There were some very talented and some humorous acts! I sang Defying Gravity while Craig accompanied me on the piano. It went pretty good and was lots of fun. After that, I took a midnight run to Safeway with Olivia, Rachel, Mike and Mitch. We sang dance and Disney songs during the car rides and ate mint chocolate chip ice cream when we were there.

My class has been good this week. I guess it was not so good last night but they were better this morning. It ranges between 20 and 23 depending on drop-in kids and some not showing up. We are all getting so good at our lessons and leading games and worship. It's really cool to see each other develop over the summer. Bethany has left and Mike leaves on Sunday. We've had some new people come to fill spots and it's hard to be losing people!

Unfortunately I think I'm getting sick. Woke up with a really sore throat and tense/achy neck and shoulders. Probably a combo of not enough sleep and maybe overdoing it with singing yesterday. Despite the sunshine, I'm going to nap before kid dinner and babysitting.

Shooting Stars

To catch up from my last post...

Tuesday was good. There were a lot of big and good sand sculptures. Sessions and rec shift were good.

Wednesday was so relaxing! I slept in until lunch, did laundry, practice for talent show, ran on the beach and then volunteered in MidKids. It was interesting to see the behaviors that were similar to K2 kids and other ways they were different. A couple of the MidKid girls found out who I was at Sunday morning dodgeball and say hi and give me hugs all the time so when I showed up in their class they were super excited and have been even more attache to me since then. It's such a great feeling to have kids love you when you didn't really do anything. After session, Jill and I flipped and flopped forever about whether or not we should go to Moonshadows at the Astoria Aquatic Center. A 45minute drive (one way), $5, and not being able to swim because of my ears did not sound too inviting. But, we eventually decided to go and we were SO glad we did! We hung out with Mike, Mitch, and Bruce mostly. We had good conversations during the van rides. At the aquatic center we played volleyball, sat in the hot tub, and I watched everyone else go down the slide. On the way back we stopped at McDonalds for yummy good, milkshakes and fun times. I feel like I've gone on more "crazy college kid adventures" being here than when I'm at college. Mmmm it was a great night!

Thursday went well. At evening session, Bruce teaches about how we are supposed to be the Salt and Light. One of our kids shared how he has a bully at his school who makes fun of him for being a Christian but he still tries to love him by being nice and picking him for his team at games, etc. It was so touching and encouraging to hear from one of our kids. Our kids are really open this week and like to share personal stories that relate to the lesson. It's so great but hard at times because we have to cut them off for time's sake. Afterwards, I babysat for one of the girls in my class and her 3 younger siblings. We watched Balto (which has a lot of great lessons in it!) and then I told them a story about a Prince Chipmunk named Ferdinand on an adventure to find the Chocolate Acorn. When the parents came back I spoke with them for a bit about their week here, and their homeschooling experience. First, it was really neat to hear their appreciation for all the work we put in (especially on Thursdays). It was also cool to hear about their homeschooling and share part of my experience too. To end the night, a bunch of us went to Ecola State Park to see the meteor shower...unfortunately it was completely overcast and we knew this heading out but decided to still go! Regardless of the clouds, we had a good time. Jill, Mike, and I shared some good conversation as we watched the waves down below light up sporadically--we eventually realized it was from the lighthouse.

Today the sun came out! It was so warm and wonderful. I spent the afternoon on the beach with friends and then worked in the rec center. A lot of my kids were in there this week so I played games with them and the time went by really fast. Tonight's session was fun. We had water balloons, otter pops, stories, coloring and only two kids cry! My girls from back home got here after session and I showed them around a bit and then we went to the beach to watch the end of the sunset, moon setting and meteor shower. As my CB friends showed up it was a big group and eventually decided to go back up to Ecola Park. It was so amazing! Lots of stars and no lights around. We saw around 15 meteors. Some of us did star tripping too which was so funny and hilarious to watch! I could have stayed until 12:30 but the guys wanted to come back at 11 and get sleep so us girls decided to leave as well.

I'm skipping kid breakfast tomorrow so I can get some good sleep since I'll be spending my whole day off with Caytlin, Annie, Kelsey, and Brittney rather than napping. :)

I've had some good times the last few days. It's getting hard knowing that some events are our last with people. They start leaving in batches from this weekend on. :(

No time to write when the sun is shining.

I planned to spend some time this afternoon blogging since it has been awful weather all week. But...the sun came out and it is very warm and gorgeous! So, since i have to be in the rec center from 2:30-5:30 :'( I am going to go enjoy the sun and will post later. My girlfriends from home are coming to visit this weekend so I'm excited for that. Bethany is leaving on Monday so it's very sad doing so many last things with her. Off to get some Vitamin D!

I don't like session getting out so early!

Today, was a great day! But then again, I feel like they all are. :)

Morning session went great. I really love the kids this week, they are so sweet, smart, and well-behaved. The worst part about session was that I couldn't hear hardly at all. Ever since cliff jumping for the second time, my ears have been bothering me so I finally bought some drops but those made it way worse unfortunately and my hearing would come and go. It was very frustrating. After session we had staff meeting and then staff pictures which were funny to see the goofy poses. It was so great to have almost everyone gathered together and see the awesome people God brought from all over to work together this summer.

I decided to go to the doctor today so Jill drove me to Seaside. Thankfully I was the first of 5 walk-ins so I didn't have to wait very long. Using the Elephant Ear Washer, the nurse got a LOT of nasties out of my ears and then gave me a prescription for an infection. It is so nice to be able to hear again!!! It was a good reminder to not take my sense of hearing for granted.

In spite of being rushed and cut a 1/2 hour short, tonight's session was SO wonderful. It was cut short because the speaker this week always finishes at least 15 minutes early which is so frustrating! I felt bad cutting games short and I knew my kids didn't like it either but we had to get to the lesson. I was teaching tonight about Rules. I feel like it was one of my best lessons so far and the kids were really involved. They were paying close attention, had questions, good responses, and lots of comments. We sacrificed our 2nd game time for 10 extra minutes of discussion. Sometimes I wonder if anything I say is making an impact on the kids so it was really encouraging to have such a great response from them tonight. After the lesson we went straight to worship, which we moved 10 minutes earlier in the schedule because we have been getting out of session less than half way through. I helped Trenton lead tonight and I think it was the best worship time yet. The kids were all super engaged and singing and doing the motions. I loved that I could hear them all singing so well. I made eye contact with so many of them and received funny faces, smiles, and enthusiastic motions in return. I had a blast and was SO sad when Ellen came to tell us session was out. I could have spent another hour with my kids!

Bible study tonight was about Galatians 3:1-14. We talked about faith rather than the law that determines righteousness. It wasn't anything new for me but yet such a good reminder that regardless of all the "Christian" things I do, if I'm not living for the Lord they are meaningless. It tied in so well with our devotion this morning which was about having a relationship and not a religion--not reading our Bible because we have to as a check-list item but because we want to spend time with God. mmmm...sounds familiar to what I was posting on yesterday :) God's timing is awesome!

Finished the evening in the rec center with Jill, Zach, and Jordan and then Trenton joined us to go touch the beach and pray. How cool is that to walk to the beach after work with some amazing people and all pray together?!?!

Overwhelmed by God

Oh I don't even know where to start. At one point today I thought back to spring quarter at school as I was looking forward to working here this summer. One of the main things I hoped for was a major re-connection with God--to come away from friends and family (though I miss and love them) and find God again as the number one priority of my life. It's funny to say but not until today did I remember that desire and over the past few months, I've never consciously worked towards it but rather it happened day by day, and conversation by conversation. The environment, people, lessons, kids, beautiful surroundings, and God's overflowing love consumed me and I have felt overwhelmed and overflowing the past couple of weeks.

I feel like there are too many songs I want to sing, too many thoughts to journal, and too many prayers to pray. With the good amount of free time I have here and yet still feel like I don't have enough time to spend with God each day, I'm nervous for finding(making) the time once I'm back at school. What a glorious thing when we will be in heaven and can spend each second of every day of all eternity praising Him.

Though I didn't see it happening, this summer has given me exactly what I needed and hoped for. I remember struggling to spend any time reading my Bible or praying during the school year because I had no passion and it was more of an item on my to-do list than time with my Savior. I wanted to have the desire but it wasn't there and I didn't know how to find it. Slowly, over this summer, God has broken my heart and filled it with an amazing love for Him. Songs come alive each time I hear/sing them. Verses jump out at me and are so amazing. Just a little phrase someone says will stick with me for days. I'm amazed at how reading chapters at school was so dry and didn't help but here I can read a few verses and be so impacted.

I've realized the culmination of this overwhelming passion the last week but it really came to a head tonight at SNL. There wasn't a speaker but different "stations" that we were given time to go through for personal reflection. There was journaling, prayer for persecuted brothers and sisters, verses to memorize, a banner of Thanksgiving, and communion. During this time, Isaac played a medley of hymns and worship songs on the piano that was SO beautiful. He started with my favorite hymn (Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing) and that's when I realized how much this summer has really changed my life. It's been one of the most fun summers, a great learning experience, and filled with great friends, but it has renewed my passion for God, refreshed my faith, and revealed a new perspective on SO many aspects of my life.

I'm still not super excited to go back to school knowing the struggles I will face but God is slowly preparing my heart for it and giving me strength to survive through it. One thing that really helped with this tonight was praying for Christians who are persecuted all around the world. Most often they are physically tormented and as I prayed, I was encouraged that when I feel mentally, emotionally, and spiritually persecuted this year at school I can think and pray for them knowing that if they can do it in a much worse situation then I can too.

One more month here. God has done so much in the past two and I'm so excited to see what the remainder of the summer holds. Here's some lyrics from a couple of the songs we sang tonight that really captivated me:

I need you Jesus to come to my rescue
where else can I go?
There's no other name by which I am saved
capture me with your grace
I will follow you.

I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus You're all this heart is living for.

Catching Up

Wow! Time flies when you're having fun. I did not mean to let some much time slip by without posting. Whoops. Picking up where I left off...and warning this is a long post!

Two Wednesdays ago: My mom and I spent the day together. We walked around town, spent a great time in the fabric shop, looked at pictures and videos online, sat and talked for a couple hours, enjoyed the salmon bbq, and attended Ron Cline's session. It was so relaxing and wonderful. Our conversations and laughter was very enjoyable. It was weird not having my dad and brother here with us but I'm glad for the time with my mom. I was able to share a lot of what I've been learning and just in verbalizing it all, I was able to process a lot and figure out exactly what I have been learning. Saying it to my mom rather than a journal was great too because she offered helpful feedback and encouragement! It was a great day! I will share about a fun event from Wednesday night in a separate post because it is a long story.

Two Thursdays ago was my Mom's birthday! Unfortunately, it was also the day I had to work the most but we were able to do fun things in-between my shifts. I took her out to a new little Mexican restaurant in town for lunch--we were the only ones in there! I had machaca, my favorite; it was so yummy! Then I had carnival and mom came to visit me at my booth Flick It. After clean-up, I took her to get cupcakes in Seaside and walk around. That night's session was good and babysitting was fine. We had a great group of kids this week and I really loved each session with them. Except for one girl that liked to create cliques and not join in on any of the activities.

Two Fridays ago: work and more time with my mom. We walked to Haystack Rock and back and had more great conversations!

Last Saturday my mom left after breakfast. I was sad to see her go and since then I have been more homesick. I went back to bed and slept from 10-3pm. It was SO nice and I really needed to catch up on all that sleep. Too much fun really does wear you out. WooHoo meeting was fun and hilarious as always.

Last Sunday was great! The new group of kids was so fun. In the afternoon a bunch of us went cliff jumping again. I wasn't sure that I would go again since I had checked that item off my list. But...I did decide to do it after everyone else jumped. I still took a few minutes to finally do it and needed a song to inspire me again. Craig had the perfect one: "Defying Gravity"! I jumped and though I did swallow quite a bit of water and was choking, I was not in pain and received no battle wounds this time. It was so much fun. On the way back, our car decided that blueberry pie sounded amazing so we drove on to Safeway to get the ingredients and Ellen agreed to bake us pie later that week. After session, a few of us hung out in Fireside and listened to Mike’s life story. It has been so great getting to really know people here and build such great friendships.

Monday afternoon became a spontaneous girls' day, which we all agreed was more fun than the planned one the previous week. We drove to Warrenton to go to Fred Meyer and Costco mainly so I could return and buy some things but then they all ended up getting stuff. Jill’s indecisiveness over yoga pants and food was great entertainment! On the way back we rolled the windows down, blasted some awesome music, and sang at the top of our lungs! Such good times and I’m really going to miss these girlies. Sessions went good that day and my Bible Study was wonderful. A bunch of us headed to the beach for a bonfire, complete with tiki torches. J We were all talking in British accents and it was really funny.

Tuesday: sessions were good with our kids! That morning we told them to bring sweatshirts for our time at the beach that night. One girl said “we’re going to have a bonfire?!?! You guys are the BEST!!!” We had Capture the Flag and a bonfire at the beach which went really well. During the afternoon I had my mid-summer evaluation which went well and then practiced for the Talent Show. I now have an extra rec shift on Tuesday nights since one of the Floaters has left. It was a lot of fun and I spent most of the time teaching Jill how to bump and set a volleyball and then peppering with Katie. Afterwards, a bunch of us gathered in Jackie’s house to watch Trenton’s favorite movie, Rocketeer.

Wednesday was such a great day! I slept in which was so nice and then baked cookies with my K2 staff for the Nursery gals. They were the group we were assigned to do something nice for. We had lunch with them in Fireside and gave them cookies and cards. After that Gretta and I watched Hello Dolly, singing along to all the songs while Jordan sat there and pretended not to watch it. J The sun finally came out and so Jill, Gretta and I went to meet Trenton at the beach for some Vitamin D. After session that night we had a little girls movie night at Ellen’s to watch Hairspray. As I write, I realize all I do this summer is hang out with cool people and have fun, yep it’s awesome! J

Thursday was great. Another awesome carnival which I spent part of in the dunk tank. J Mexican food with friends and then the long session and babysitting for two adorable children.

Friday’s sessions were a little more chaotic. All of our kids really bonded with one another this week which was great but it made them want to have conversations and giggle more than listen. The sun came out again and I was able to enjoy the beach for a little bit before going to my Rec shift. I usually don’t enjoy rec shifts because it is slow but I knew I needed to have a better attitude about it so I went in looking for an opportunity to hang out with kids even though I would rather be at the beach in the sunshine. God was good to me though and I had a GREAT rec shift. One of the girls from the Youth came and sat down to chat with me. I found out that she went to Legacy and we had a lot in common which provided great conversation. She then showed me her sketchbook which was amazing and I asked her to draw me something. As she sketched, we talked more and she pointed out how awesome it was that God is such an amazig artist. After she finished she asked for my email so we can keep in touch. It was neat to spend time with someone not in my age group and connect with her. I’m always amazed at what I learn from the kids here even when they don’t mean to be teaching me. After session that night we finally had the blueberry pie! But…because Zach and Ellen are retrievers and felt bad talking about pie at lunch in front of people who hadn’t originally been invited…they invited everyone and decided to make 2 more pies: apple and chocolate peanut butter. We all sat in Ellen’s cozy living room eating pie, playing Apples to Apples, playing Robot Unicorn, and laughing way too much.

And now that brings me to today! Kid breakfast, ear drops that made my hearing WORSE, lunch with Cassie and Brian, drinking a delicious French Kiss Latte on the beach in the rain, WooHoo meeting and volunteering in the nursery to hold an adorable 1year old boy all night! :D So happy!

Phew, that took awhile! My bad for not keeping up on it. I will try to do better the remainder of the summer.

God has blessed me so much

by allowing me to work here this summer! I am learning and growing more than I ever imagined. I never want to leave! :(

My friends Amy and Lauren came to visit this weekend. It was great to see them, catch up, and have them meet my new friends here. They asked what I've been learning here and it was so good to verbalize all I've been through and really recognize the things I've learned and grown through.

Our new group of kids this week is so so wonderful. We have 20 but they are really well-behaved and none that stand out as problem kids.

Monday afternoon was girls day for Olivia, Jill, Katie, and I. We went out to a yummy lunch and then walked around Seaside. We talked and laughed so much; it was great!

My mom arrived today for a 4-day visit! She had to sit and wait for 2 hours because of a head-on collision. I'm glad she made it here safely. Tomorrow is my day off and I can't wait to spend time with her!

If you get the chance to sit it out or dance...dance!

This is a photo of the Ronaldo family from Soccer Mom Soccer. :)

Wow a lot has happened in the past few days! I am just having too much fun. :)

Wednesday--instead of sleeping in--K2, Midkids, and Floater staffs left at 9am to go on a joint program outing to Tillamook Cheese Factory. It was a lot of fun and I had two huge scoops of ice cream for my breakfast and lunch. :) On the way back we stopped to go cliff jumping into a river. I had not planned on going when we made the plans the night before and therefore did not wear or take appropriate clothes. However, once we got there I wished I had. Everyone was going and telling me I should too. After a lot of persuasion, my friend Zach said the line that is my title and I decided "yes I should go or else I will regret it." So I borrowed my friends shorts after she had jumped and changed again. It still took me like 5 minutes to finally jump. (video to be posted soon). It was fun and I'm glad I did it. However...I woke up this morning with huge bruises on my left shin and calf which hurt really bad and my thigh is really tender too. So apparently dancing can be dangerous. I'm still glad I did it though.

We got back to Cannon Beach and it was really windy so I decided to finally take my kite out. It took awhile to figure out how to put it all together and a phone call to my brother to find some pieces. Zach went first and did great--he could do 8 flips one way and then un-do it. Then I tried and could only get to 3 flips and would usually crash it. After 4 or 5 crashes I did it once more and broke the main pole so our kite session was over after only about 20 minutes. Thankfully the kite shop repairs the poles for free so now I have to go do that at some point again.

After session on Wednesday night we had Soccer Mom Soccer. Oh my goodness, so much fun! Everyone was totally into their characters with costumes, props, accents, and family drama. I think the "parents" had more fun than the people playing soccer. We hardly even watched the game because we were so busy making up family conflicts and getting in fights. It was hilarious.

Today the sessions went good. Thursdays are always so long and tiring. The little boy who was adopted from Russia cuddled with me during story time which was so precious, except that he kept leaning on or kicking my bruises! During kid dinner I was able to chat with the Miley Cyrus girl and older boy some too which was really neat. Sigh...I really love kids! After my rec center shift tonight I hung out with some friends that I don't normally hang out with a lot and it was fun to talk and laugh with them more.

I know I should go to bed, but I'm not tired and Facebook is FINALLY after 20+ tries (not kidding) letting me upload my pictures from the past few days. One more day until my day off and two of my girlfriends come!

Sand between the toes is a great way to end the day

The past two days have been busy but great! Yesterday I went to session to meet the kids for the first time. We have 9 kids total this week and only 2 of them are girls. With such a small number of kids we are very limited in games we can play because dodge ball with 5 on 4 just isn't realistic. So, we teamed up with Mid-Kids to play games in the gym this week and it's been a lot of fun so far. This group is also a big challenging because we have quite a range of maturity from a few young ones who listen well and like everything to a couple older ones that are very vocal about what they do and don't like. We also have a little boy who was adopted from Russia and English is his second language. He does great speaking and reading but I find a real barrier with comprehension. I have to explain games to him several times and play it out with him before he gets it. Even then though, he claims he doesn't understand despite playing it correctly and uses that as an excuse to not want to play. While he is a handful, I really love him and he's attached to me. One of my little boys is just so precious. He is adorable, has trouble saying his Rs which is really cute, and is so well behaved (I found out he's from a large homeschool family...ya-yeah!). I also have a soft spot for one of my girls. She has 7 other sisters and one brother and is on the verge of becoming a Miley Cyrus look-alike. She came in one session with more eye make-up on than I have ever worn...she's 10! I think her sisters did her up. She was really shy to begin with but has started opening up. I'm really hoping for a chance to hang out with her outside of class in the rec center or something.

Between sessions yesterday I planned to do some reading but took a 2 hour nap instead and woke up with a bad headache which grew worse through session and my rec shift. By the time I was done for the night at 11:30, I felt so awful. I'm wondering if it was a migraine because my head just hurt so bad and I felt like throwing up. I took a tylenol and went to bed thinking that since I was so tired, I would fall right asleep, but no. It took forever! Thankfully it went away by the time I woke up this morning.

Today's sessions were good. Between the older boy and the adopted boy I was constantly telling one to stop doing something. I really still like them though. I feel like I have to be the strict teacher too much rather than just goof off and love them.

I spent the afternoon with Olivia and Jill. We have Soccer Mom Soccer coming up for Moonshadows on Wednesday and we went to Fred Meyer to buy items for it. Basically some staff will play soccer and other will be their soccer mom (or dad or grandpa or aunt, etc). So we bought white t-shirts to decorate, juice boxes, fruit-by-the-foot, granola bars, and oranges. We plan to apply Snoopy band-aids, hand sanitizer, and sunscreen whenever necessary. :) We will dress up like soccer moms and fight to defend our "kids" against other players and parents. When we got back we used sharpies to decorate the shirts for all our "kids" saying "I <3 My Mommy" and then ours will say "Proud Soccer Mom of ...." and we also have a grandpa so his says "#1 Grandpa" and signatures of all the "kids". :) The sharpie smell got REALLY strong but it was so much fun and I can't wait for Wednesday night!

Tonight in session we tried a relay race where the two teams raced around the running track to put on costumes and then once both teams were finished they each acted out a Bible story. They were so cute and hilarious! It was way more of a success than I thought it would be and the kids loved it. I had Bible study afterwards. Then I spent the rest of the night in the rec center with my friends. I won a game of foosball, got mustard on my face (revenge for having my friend "smell" whip cream and smearing it on his face) and then we tried to balance 3 golf balls on top of each other but could only get 2. Oh, and then we went down to touch the beach! I love the feeling of sand between my toes.

Off to bed now. One more day of work until a day of rest!

I wish I could bring my laptop on the beach

because I think of so many great things to write about when I am sitting in the sand watching the waves crashing. But, my phone barely survives the sand so no way would my laptop. I guess I'll have to start carrying a notebook and pen with me, sigh, so old fashioned. :)

I woke up early and went to breakfast to say goodbye to the kids. It's always fun to hang out with them outside of class. Today I took Katie's housekeeping shift as she is on a camping trip with her family. I was excited to try housekeeping one time and join the singing group. I cleaned 4 bathrooms and made about 8 twin bunk beds. There was a LOT of sand on those bathroom floors and the new comforters for the beds are WAY too big and look ridiculous in my opinion. It was fun but I was so sweaty and sore and dead that I'm pretty glad I don't do that every week.

Even though I don't work, I love going to the kick-off meeting for program which we call Woo-Hoo! We give "High Fives" to people--little notes of encouragement that we write throughout the week saying "good job" to people. Then we tell kid stories. It's always a great time and we laugh a lot! It's so great to hear stories and learn from the kids sometimes. After dinner I went and sat on top of a sand dune for a half hour. I watched the waves crashing on the shore and the light was shining through the clouds onto the ocean. It was so beautiful and nothing you could ever capture with a camera. I spent the whole time talking to God and it was so wonderful to be alone with him and talk about some things I've had on my mind for awhile. Going to chill the rest of the night before heading back to work! I just got a text that we only have 6 kids, only 1 of which is a girl!

Worn out

I didn't post last night because I was completely exhausted! Thursdays are so long! The morning session went great, nothing special that I can remember. Carnival was excellent! I got to dance the whole time which was super fun but also very tiring. The last song of the whole thing is called "You Can't Stop the Beat" from Hairspray, and man you certainly can't. My boss cut over a minute of the song out and it was STILL really long. We kept dancing and thinking it was over but it would keep going and going. I danced with one of the girls from my class during that song. She was really shy at first but by the end she was totally into it.

After carnival I lied on my bed and just listened to music and then hung out with a friend and colored. So relaxing. I forgot how much I like coloring. Then we had kid dinner. I am getting really sick of that pizza. :P And we get corn dogs for staff lunch on Thursdays so you just feel gross eating all that "healthy" food and then dancing and running around. Craig and Mitch told another hilarious story which even the High School group came to and enjoyed. I didn't have anyone to babysit after session so I had to work in the rec center. There was 4 of us working and hardly anyone in there so it was quite boring. I collapsed into bed that night. I was sleepy tired and my body was just dead. This morning I did NOT want to get up but that's okay because I have learned how to get ready in 20 minutes and not be late. :)

This morning our devotions were about the oxymoron that Jesus, Peter, Paul, and James teach us about having joy in times of suffering. Our boss mentioned my co-worker's injury last week and how none of us wanted that or liked it but we all grew from it. It was just a week ago that it happened. I still remember it from time to time but when he mentioned it again, all the memories and images came flooding back. Then during session, we took the kids to the gym to play Gladiator--the same game we had played when it happened. It was hard to have a fun time because I was remembering the whole thing. I was constantly looking around counting kids and leaders to make sure everyone was present and okay. Mitch got out and then just stayed sitting down against the wall. After class we talked about it and he was just having flashbacks too. It's crazy how something like that can stick with you so much.

This afternoon I walked around town on the beach for a bit, just thinking and praying. I love being here and hanging out with all my new friends but it is so good to have time by myself too and I don't get enough of it. I napped for an hour and could have kept sleeping until dinner except that I had to work rec center for 3 hours. Those 3 hours are always SO long, especially since hardly anyone comes in for the first 2. Tonight's session was the last with these kids and a lot of fun. Week 4 is over and gone!

War Paint

Since there is no morning session on Wednesdays, today the Program staff played against Housekeeping in dodgeball. It's my day off but I still wanted to play. We all assembled early and put face paint on while listening to pump-up music. The guys all had basketball shorts on but then right before we started they yelled out war cries and ripped them off to reveal short running shorts. It was...hilarious yet interesting. Program completely defeated Housekeeping but then we played other games switching up the teams. It was a lot of fun. After lunch and having to use a lot of makeup remover to get my war paint off, we went to the beach for the afternoon. I have only been putting 8spf on but my tan does not seem to be getting any darker while all my friends put nothing on, burn and then eventually have nice dark tans. Grrrr...maybe I will use the 4spf next time.

Wednesday nights is salmon bbq for the guests and this one time only all the staff got to eat that meal too. It was SO delicious! A bunch of us sat on the grassy hill at Whale Park while we ate. Good food, good friends, a grassy hill and sunshine made it just so wonderful and one of those moments where you just smile at how awesome life is.

I went to the adult session then with my 3 other friends who have Wednesdays off. The speaker talked about the power of the gospel and then had an invitation. One guy went forward. I realized that I haven't witnessed someone accept Christ in a long time. Neither of the churches I attend do invitations. Part of me was sad that it had been so long for me to see this. I was really struck again by how amazing Christ's gift is and what a blessing it is to become one of his followers. As the man walked forward, my friends and I all got the warm fuzzies. :)

This wonderful day ended with watching "You've Got Mail" with a lot of my friends. It was quite the movie night because the girls quoted it, the guys had never seen it and were trying to guess what would happen and I kept saying "Shhhhhhhh!" :) It was fun though.

I found out that I get to be one of the dancers on stage at the carnival tomorrow so I need to rest up.

I like Australian Accents

Today's sessions went well. Nothing extraordinary or difficult. The kids are really sweet and fun to be with. We did go to the park this morning and the sprinklers would going so we played Captain Captain and had to run across the soccer field and avoid getting wet though some of the kids enjoyed soaking themselves. :/ Then tonight we went to the beach for Capture the Flag and a bonfire with s'mores. Probably the smoothest that has ever gone AND we made it back in time for worship which I think is a first.

I had Sand Sculpture shift today and there were some great ones such as a huge goldfish cracker, a horse, and a shark with a leg sticking out of its mouth. Then, during my afternoon break I napped on the beach which was wonderful and warm! Tonight I went to the worship leader's concert because one of my students told me she was Reba's sister! I had spent an hour with her as one of the judges at the sand contest but didn't know. She doesn't look that similar but when she sang I could hear a similarity and see some in the way she performed.

In regards to my title, we have a speaker here this week for staff who is from Australia an studying at Multnomah. He is talking to us about conflict this week--how it arises, how we often respond, and how we should respond. It's fun to hear how he says some words but accent aside his messages have been really good.

I am so excited for a day off tomorrow! Sleeping in for sure. :)

Oh...and running this morning failed because I hit snooze too many times and then only got to work on time because my supervisor texted me saying where we were supposed to meet in 30 minutes! whoops